THE BEST BAD ADVICE ON THE INTERNET
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Raising Humans
Raising Humans
 August 04, 2010

Nothing is more subjective than raising children, from infants to toddlers to adolescents and then some immature adults. Some kids manage to grow up. A lot of them get stuck in one stage or another and wind up leading lives of constant dependence upon those around them. Remember, even serial killers were once Mommy and Daddy’s “widdle honeybunch”.

Raising humans is never an easy task. So who’s at fault? Parents? Teachers? The environment? Books (i.e. “Catcher in the Rye”)? Or toys imported from Red China with their lead based paints and other dangerous moving parts?  There are always choices. Misguided advisors like to stress a nurturing environment for raising humans filled with what they perceive as love, guidance and a gentle hand. The fact is there is no written law that says you have to love your children! It’s fine to care for them but only to a point. What? There’s no such thing as postpartum depression? My own mother, may she rest in peace, had postpartum depression from the time her first child was born until the age of eighty-two with the onset of Alzheimer’s.

Worse still is this societal judgment against abandonment. If you find your infant/toddler/child/teen too difficult to deal with then abandonment is not a bad thing. Where you leave them is. For young ones place them gently in a basket and leave them somewhere in plain sight of a kind passersby. If you can’t afford a basket you can use the giant bulrush plant to weave one. If it worked for Moses safe to say it can work for you. If they’re older children blindfold them and drive them far away so they don’t come home to roost. Let them know clearly that you’ve taken back their last names and they’re free to make up their own (with real consequences for using yours). And please, don’t think of them as being abandoned. Think of them as being found because they will be. It’s the same concept as being “born again”.

Keep this accurate information in mind and you’ll be starting out well ahead of the game. And, please, never forget that I really care.


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