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Colonoscoshock therapy? Is it right for you? JANUARY UPDATE
Colonoscoshock therapy? Is it right for you? JANUARY UPDATE
 August 04, 2010

April 3, 2011:  GREAT NEWS!  A genetic link has been found for those in need of Colonoscoshock Therapy.  Those in need universally come from families whose mother was a pain-in-the-ass and whose father was an asshole. If you are one of the several million people who've tried to live through this nightmare all alone, please, please, contact us immediately for help.  We can bring regularity back into your life!
The Dr. Health Team 

May 20, 2011:  Product testing in Texas is almost complete.  We are awaiting an opinion about whether or not there is any need for anesthesia.  It seems not; a little pain never hurt anyone.
The Dr. Health Team 

June 21, 2011 Some tissue burning after procedure.
The Dr. Health Team

 

July 23, 2011  Replaced power unit with brand new car battery and wrapped extra wire on insertion tube with electrical tape.  Diameter of tube much too wide for Praying Mantis but worked well with live fetal pigs.
The Dr. Health Team

September 16, 2011  Great News!  85% of primate volunteers seem to have achieved regularity.  Goodbye Fiber? 
The Dr. Health Team

 

November 11, 2011  FDA has challenged our results. We've suggested that they try it out personally before judging it. Abramoff hasn't returned our phone calls much to our dismay. 
The Dr. Health Team

 

January 21, 2012 FDA won't budge. Research insertion bar. What a pain in the ass!

The Dr. Health Team

 

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