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LETTERS TO DEAR DR. HEALTH
Help Set Me Free!
January 31, 2011

Dear Dr. Health,

I am writing to you because I don't know who to turn to. I have lived in misery for almost forty years. I am a woman trapped inside a man's body. I've known this painful fact almost as long as l can remember. Even as a young boy I never had the same interests as the other boys at school and in my neighborhood. I tried to pretend for quite some time forcing myself to participate in several armed robberies (I grew up on the wrong side of the tracks), but I always knew the truth; that deep inside I was a woman.

For the last twenty some odd years I've rarely gone out of my home. I don't fit in anywhere and have contemplated suicide on many an occasion. I know that there is some sort of surgery that can be performed and injections I could get that would transform my body and let out the beautiful woman lurking inside. Where can I get information about this procedure and why did God play this awful trick on me in the first place?
REACHING OUT
Hoboken, NJ
Letter ID : 55
REPLY FROM DR. HEALTH
January 31, 2011
Dear Reaching Out, God, like all of his creation, has a sense of humor. Whether or not you appreciate his jokes is something else. We all laugh at different things. What is a clever little trick to God you might find a devastating situation like the case in point. But that what this world is all about, diversity. So much for God and his sense of humor. What I would like to know a little more about are some of the facts in your case. For instance, on what specific occasions have you contemplated suicide? Is it when you see other normal families...mothers with their adoring children shopping on holidays or gathering around a warm crackling fire singing holiday songs and opening their gifts of love? Or do you consider suicide when, perhaps, you wander lonely and miserable along the sea and watch a young couple embracing on the dunes and know that this is something that you...a freak, a silly uninspired joke will never know? I need to know which occasions are the most depressing to you in order to help. Make a list, however incredibly long it may be, and send it to me. It may help me to help you. I also like you to take a moment to describe the woman trapped inside you. Maybe she a pig and if you let her out her life will be even more miserable than yours. That would be a nightmare, huh? There are a lot of pigs out there already and your chances of finding happiness without ovaries and sporting those ridiculous hormone induced breasts will not be keen. Please dont forget to send me that list and, remember, I really care.
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